It has been a few days since I have posted and I need to get thru the issues I have had with my mental health.
The last week has been a major setback in what I have tried to do and how I have attempted to manage my mental health and the emotional connection I have with my family and friends.
My mental health was not good
Things were going so well until I recently hurt myself, nothing serious so thats ok but it has affected my initial process I was trying to use to help manage my mental health and anxieties.
No being able to exercise for a few days due this injury has given me an excuse to let my routine slip and I am really feeling the effects of this thought process changing. I have reverted back to my old self.
Letting my emotions stray to a darker place, letting my mental health slip and until now I had not realised that I was also losing my ability to try and stay positive and see the good in everyday.
Family life has been affected by my mental shift and I feel guilty for again letting my mental health issues affect my family.
My eldest son has been quite quiet and reserved over the last week, this is not unusual but I have been getting more hugs from him so I think he can see the emotional strain I am under.
My youngest son has also been quite emotional over the last week, he wants more hugs and cuddles and doesn’t want to leave his mum. He has stated that he is scared of losing his parents. Maybe this is just hormones or due to the fact that I believe every child eventually realises that at his age. My wife remembers being scared of losing her parents. I do to but I am struggling to remember those times.
My family life was affected
This last week has also greatly affected my relationship with my wife. I have struggled to contain some aspects of my emotions, we have argued and generally not got on well. I am under alot of strain at the moment and not using physical exercise to mange my emotions and develop some positive thoughts has definitely taken its toll.
Having flashbacks to my childhood sexual abuse, waking up covered in sweat and not sleeping is a usual occurrence but I believe the lack of positivity and exercise has not helped.
When I got out of bed this morning I swore to myself that his has to change. I am going to do everything I can from now on to improve my familys home life.
I must make changes to my outlook on life and make sure I stick to them, otherwise I fear my mental health issues will cause my family more distress.