Created 16/09/2024
I have been working on being more positive since my last post and although its early days, I think this way of dealing with my anxiety, depression and thought process has really been helpful.
There is no doubt that trying to be positive and even attempting to be positive for a few hours can be very rewarding. It seems like such an easy thing to do but it is actually quite difficult.
Even the slightest change to someone’s mood can affect their overall ability to be positive. I really struggle with this process of being positive, mainly due to the way my brain processes emotions. You could say that all the years of living with the after affects of bring a victim of childhood sexual abuse has slightly tainted my ability to embrace the idea.
With being positive and having a healthy, happy go lucky outlook, even being able to compartmentalise daily thoughts could increase anyone’s ability to embrace a positive outlook.
Hiding the effects of the trauma from sexual abuse, the fear, the nightmares and wishing you could remove what happened from your memory, even removing yourself from existence can all affect the way our brains work. Its really hard work when your world went to rat shit nearly 40 years ago and you’ve been living with and trying to manage the fallout from those events everyday since.
I have read a few web pages recently, even travelled down the Instagram video spiral after a video popped up telling me that I can gain positivity for the rest of my life..
The reality is that no matter what someone says, no matter what someone does, their experiences will be massively, if not completely different from everyone else. We are not robots or machines and we cannot process information the same way and or be expected to do so. Even a persons reaction to say a stinging nettle or a bee sting cannot be handled in the same way.
A person who has allergies to the toxins in the nettle or the bee sting could actually die from something that others may treat as a minor inconvenience. Not all people fall or fit into someone’s idea of how being positive helps them and how easy they find it. I guess what I am trying to say is we are all different.
We all have different levels of issues to deal with. We all process thoughts, issues, daily life differently and that’s just how the world works.
Update 25/09/204
I forgot about this blog and feel I have failed to write what had been concerning me. I will try and write this out better in the future.