This is a follow on from my previous post regarding positive thinking and its benefits for mental health. Being positive can be extremely hard for someone who, like myself has been stuck in a negative thought process for so long.
I made a decision last week and stated in my previous post that I will endeavour to actively use the power of positive thought to influence my daily activities. This change will be a mental fight that I will continue, probably without failure to the day I die.
How a children’s film affected my mental attitude
After writing the last post I felt good about myself. I had made the decision to use positive thoughts to assist me in changing my life around and seeing the world through a different light.
This greatly affected my attitude towards my family life and I agreed to settle down with my youngest son and wife and watch a film on Friday night.
This film, like so many other Disney children’s films is presented as a comedy regarding aspects of life. As usual there is always a dual purpose in the content. You have to expect that with Disney films.
The film is titled Inside Out 2. I don’t know if I can state the name of the film but I was really surprised to watch it. We have watched the original film many times and settled down with drinks and snacks to watch this new one.
As we started watching the film, which details how puberty changes what happens in your mind, one aspect of the new emotions that developed really stuck with me. This new emotion is anxiety.
Although it is primarily focused at young children, the screen play is well written and very informative and I believe will help countless children get some grasp on why they feel like they do and that this is normal.
This film is entertaining, engaging and fun for the target audience as it should be. There are bright colours, laughs and a lot of funny elements going on. My youngest son really enjoyed the film.
Hidden deeper messaging or am I just to aware of my metal health
As the main film character develops into a teenager the story shows the emotions of the character change. Part of the reason for also watching this film is to help my youngest son.
Recently he has been developing what can only be described as separation anxiety. I did mention this in a previous post but this is becoming slightly overwhelming. He is due to go on a school residential trip later this month and we hope there wont be any issues. He will be away for three nights with his friends so I hope that makes it easier. I really want him to enjoy the trip.
My youngest son doesn’t want to sleep alone, he is now stating that he is afraid of the dark, which I get. I was afraid of the dark. It held nightmare flashback images to what I experienced when I was a child. So now this is happening we have an issue at bed time.
Anxiety – how it can change your outlook and control your life
Anxiety as the main emotional change to the films teenage character. During the film it was represented as a furtive, irrational and controlling busybody. The depiction of anxiety being this way, manipulating thoughts and experiences as it did, had a quite profound affect on me.
We all watched the anxiety character and how it moved, the way it controlled the outcome of all the films characters thoughts and emotions. It was displayed as a controlling emotion that thought it knew what was right in the mind of the films main character.
Not only was Anxiety controlling the emotions but it developing into controlling the characters responses in different situations. When something disturbed the anxiety it made changes to relationships to gain a better response to its feelings and wants. This was done without thought or consideration for any other emotion or feelings. I know it doesn’t make sense right now but it will at some point.
Overall I went to bed thinking a lot about my years of battling with anxiety. Why have I let it get so bad. This is the power of anxiety and some of the other strong emotions I have become accustomed to dealing with every day. All part of an enduring struggle and how it has affected my life.
Hoping I could use positive thinking in my golf this weekend
I got up early on Saturday morning, it was dark and dreary, not to cold but not the best day to play golf. I struggled to clear some of the questions I had in my mind before falling asleep. Why has anxiety become so controlling. What have I done to myself.
It was still dark as I stood there waiting to play by myself. I had the first tee off time. I had decided to do this to get out in the fresh air and try and clear my mind. So far this was not working as I almost didn’t play. I had an urge to just walk away and feel sorry for myself.
But I had made a choice that no matter what, I was going to use positive thinking to change my life. So I tee’d off. My game of golf that I enjoyed so much has started. told myself that no matter what I was going to enjoy this time outside in the fresh air. It will be good for me.
How my day changed thanks to friends
It wasn’t going well and after 4 holes, two club members that I knew appeared on the 5th hole. They had walked off down the course to get playing as there was a big queue formed on the first tee. This was a relief to me when they asked if I wanted to join them. I was not playing very well and there company was appreciated.
My conversation levels were low initially, I was in a funny mood, feeling down and depressed so it took a while for me to fully engage in the conversations. As the round of golf went on I started relaxing an telling myself to enjoy this game I love. We ended up having quite a laugh by the end of the round of golf. I was thankful that they had been there to lighten my mood.
I returned home and after sorting out my golf equipment, I started working with my wife to winterfy the garden. It was a long afternoon which included a trip to the local dump. I was physically and emotionally tired that night so I went to be early.
How positive thoughts turned my weekend around – they do work
I had a lie in on Sunday morning. Haven’t done that for a long time as I am usually up between 5 and 6 am. I had told myself as I started to drift off to sleep that I had to be positive. I concentrated on slowing my breathing and trying to relax which helped me drift off to sleep.
A cat disturbed me around 6am so my sleep may have been broken by that but I did feel ok. I got up and ready for golf. I was going to be joining concessions. This is a roll up group of tee times were any members of the club can play together. Groups were picked and the day started.
I had been a little standoffish with some of the members initially but I told myself to relax and have fun. Everyone else was laughing and chatting and I was suddenly aware of my persona. I had missed several jokes due to my mind wandering, I looked rude and that hurt.
I took some deep breaths and told myself to smile. Smiling is easy, anyone can do it and I have for years to cover how I feel but I told myself to smile properly and have fun. Don’t put to much pressure on myself.
Learning to be nice to myself using positive thoughts
So my round of golf started, I didn’t play well and I didn’t play badly. I played the first 6 holes as I normally would but I found myself mentally slipping. There had been a few silly mistakes and I was punishing my actions with negative self talk. I was putting myself down, in front of other people after making silly mistakes.
I didn’t like this and knew I wasn’t being nice to myself. Why punish myself mentally for a slight mistake in a silly and supposedly fun game of golf. I wasn’t under any pressure apart from what I was putting on myself. I had to stop this.
As we stood on the 8th Tee I told myself that this is when my mental attitude changes. It didn’t help my golf but it did stop me from calling myself names and dragging myself down. Holes 9 and 10 were played ok.
A moment of clarity that helped reinforce my thoughts
As we walked over to the 11th tee, I thought how great it would be to hit a hole-in-one. How excited I would be and of course how much the bar bill would be.. It was a strange thought to have but it was very welcome. Where did that come from, Why have I thought about it now.
I cleared my mind and just thought about hitting the ball well and the outcome would be what it was. It was a great shot and we all knew it as we walked up the hill to the green.
I didn’t hit the hole-in-one that appeared in my mind. I had missed this hole-in-one by 3 inches. It was and still is the closest I have come to that holy grail moment in golf. What got me was the clarity of thought when I hit the shot that this will be good.
A vision of what could happen, a positive image to help me believe in myself
Somewhere deep inside I knew it would be a good shot and it was. I took this as a sign that positivity and positive thinking in all forms can have an affect on your day. The rest of the round didn’t go to well, the ground was wet and we were just playing for fun.
I did however play and awesome golf shot on the 15th Hole, same type of mental clarity as I hit my 2nd shot into the green. It was a great shot and nearly went in for an eagle. Something I have never scored before.
Last night as I laid in bed, tired and not overly sleepy I tried my slow breathing again and told myself to relax, I fell asleep at some point.
I know its only early days but I am trying to keep thighs positive mental attitude and all the positive encouragement going. I think there could really be something in this that will change my life.