Created 29/07/04
Yesterday I was in a good place after eating and I think this was very helpful. I wasn’t as tired and I believe this also helped level out my anxiety and depression. I had a productive afternoon at work, I went out and played golf in the evening with a friend and for once I actually managed to play well.
I know its simple, I need to eat to survive. I need good quality meals to help my body function well. I need to drink more fluids and I should be eating 3 times a day but my brain doesn’t think that way when my anxieties are taking over. I think its the thought of making myself eat instead of looking forward to enjoying what I eat that’s part of the problem.
This just goes to show how the effects of not eating regularly, looking after myself and not being able to relax has so much of an impact on my mental health and outlook on my day.
I tried to keep a positive attitude yesterday afternoon before going out to golf and this definitely helped keep my thoughts in a positive direction.
There were no intrusive thoughts that made me overly anxious, I will admit I was worried that I wouldn’t play well, trying to keep these worries out of my mind and relax took some doing but after the first 3 holes I settled down.
Using positive thoughts about myself instead of negative thoughts and not being over critical on my golf game, remember I haven’t been playing well for a few weeks and I’m still unsure of the issues, I decided to try and play confidently and play within myself. Controlled and rational thoughts did make a big difference. I made a few silly mistakes, didn’t always concentrate as much as I should. This is something I will definitely work on as I try and get better in my golf and everyday life situations.
I am happy with how I played, some good golf and some bad golf but overall happy with how it went. I will try and keep hold of this positive thought for my next round
We have a club golf match away at another golf course this weekend. Unfortunately I cant make it due to family commitments. I feel like I have let my fellow players down as I am the current vice captain. I haven’t missed a club match for ages and I feel bad about this and have explained to the captain. He has been understanding but I know I should be there to assist.
I will try and not dwell on this issue and keep positive, even this small thought can develop into a worry and can take my anxiety up several levels. Lack of self confidence and worrying abut how I act, how people see me really affects me. I’m always trying to hide this, I don’t want people to see how self conscious I truly am. It sounds daft but a small worry for one person can be easily blown up by my mind and the way it works.
I felt good last night as I went to bed, I wasn’t able to sleep for a while and eventually drifted off this morning. There were no overpowering thoughts of dread or worry for my mind to over analyse before I fell asleep.
Overall this has been helpful. I am starting to realise how much my health is affected by my mind and how much I need to fight thru and help myself realise I need to take better care of myself.